On Why You and I Are the Perfect Parent

Steve's Phone 029

I am ready to receive the hate mail. I don’t mind the nasty comments. Being great at something does bring out the jealousy of others so I am prepared for the onslaught; bring it on. I can’t help it and I’m tired of hiding it so here it is: I’m the perfect parent.

I know it’s a little hard to hear. We are all trying so hard to attain it and to finally find someone who has reached such lofty levels is hard to bear. But there’s good news. The good news is that you are too.

How did I finally attain the nirvana of parenting? How is it that I have come to such an elevated status you ask? I started to read the posts of all the other parents out there who are trying really hard to get it right and I found that I am just like they are, or you are, and therefore I must have reached the highest level a parent can reach; the level of someone who cares to try. Since this is the highest level that I have ever seen any human being attain, it must be human perfection.

Yes, I know, the little voice creeps up and says “Yes, sometimes I do a great job, but not always.” We already know that people! It’s not possible to always do a great job. That is not what defines perfection as a parent. Perfection as a parent is to love your kids and do everything in your ability to pass that love onto and into them in a way that they have the best chance of understanding

Idealistic perfection is a figment of our imagination. It is unattainable. Unattainable. Unattainable. It does not exist.

I have finally grown tired of the daily grind of guilt and inadequacy when it comes to parenting. The only thing that feeling guilty has ever done for me is make me feel guilty. That’s it. It hasn’t made me a better person. On the contrary, the feelings of guilt and inadequacy have made me a worse parent by muddling the moments I spend with my kids. It clouds my true joy and makes me grumpy.

We are loving our children and they feel loved. That is what’s happening. We are doing great and awesome things with our kids. We look at them and listen to them when they speak. We hold them and comfort them when they are upset. We counsel our children when they are confused about how to negotiate a relationship with a friend and we have the wisdom to tell them something of real value. We consider their physical health and well being and stay up all night just to watch them breath. We protect them from harm as best as any parent can and ask them questions that will lead them to a better understanding of their own safety. We watch out for their latent talents and hidden gifts and drive their butts all over town to lessons and book clubs and sporting events so that they might find the joy in who they are as much as we do. And we do all of these things and dozens more every day. Every day! For years on end.

Come on people, we’re perfect parents!

9 thoughts on “On Why You and I Are the Perfect Parent

  1. pipelinemommy

    Well said. I feel just the way you describe sometimes and losing time to wondering about my own inadequacies isn’t solving anything. Trying is absolutely the point 🙂

    1. stayathomefodder Post author

      Parenting makes me feel bipolar sometimes. Within the span of a minute I can be laughing my butt off and then furious at who did what to whom. I am trying to side more towards the laughing in my general take on parenting.

  2. sheerawarriormom

    I think that is exactly the point. Guilt is a comfortable, tried and true routine for most, especially when it comes to negotiating your personal feelings about parenting. So I think it takes guts to own the fact that trying your best, is the best you can do. Thanks for putting this so succinctly.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s